I’ve been answering a lot of email questions lately from prospective kidney donors trying to decide whether to go forward with the procedure. The same questions always seem to crop up. Here they are:
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-- I’m thinking of donating a kidney and my friends and family are freaking out! What should I tell them?
I'm happy to answer any questions, but I don't want you to think I'm talking you into donating. It is a very personal issue, and you should make it based upon the facts of your life.
My friend Virginia Postrel wrote a great article called:
"Here's Looking at You, Kidney: How and why I became an organ donor -- and how I kept people from talking me out of it."
http://www.dynamist.com/articles-speeches/opeds/kidney.html
Her article started me thinking about donating, and her patience with my many dumb questions helped me during my own discernment process.
Most family members' objections boil down to:
1. Fear of the surgery
2. Fear of living with one kidney
Remind your friends and family of the following things:
The donation of a kidney is laparoscopic surgery, meaning small incision and quicker recovery. Most donors are out of the hospital on the next day, back at work in two weeks, and back to normal in a month. The surgery is no more dangerous than any procedure done under general anesthesia. The anesthesia is the real risk factor. Check out your doctor and transplant center. Get comfortable with both. Ask a lot of questions.
There is no scientific evidence in 50 years of living kidney donations that there are any ill effects to living with one kidney. Within five weeks of donation, the remaining kidney swells in size and increases its filtering power (the "glomerular filtration rate") to match the power of two kidneys. In short, you'll have a single super-kidney instead of two simply adequate kidneys.
When kidney disease occurs, it nearly always strikes both kidneys at the same time. It's not like one kidney fails and you find yourself knocking on wood, thankful that you've got a spare. If I should develop kidney disease, I will need treatment or a transplant – just like I'd need if I had two kidneys. If a kidney donor needs a transplant, they go straight to the front of the line on the kidney transplant list, which seems like a very fair deal to me.
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--- What about saving your kidney in case one of your kids needs it someday?
This is the best argument I've heard against donating. That said, I couldn't justify not saving a life today because it might inhibit my ability to possibly save one in the future. My wife has a spare kidney for them, and we both have loving families who may be willing to help if one of my kids is in need of a kidney. Moreover, neither my family nor my wife's has any history of kidney disease, obesity, or diabetes.
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--- What if something happens to your remaining kidney and you end up needing your second one?
Again, my family has no history of kidney disease. When kidney disease occurs, it nearly always strikes both kidneys at the same time. It's not like one kidney fails and you find yourself knocking on wood, thankful that you've got a spare. If I should develop kidney disease, I will need treatment or a transplant – just like I'd need if I had two kidneys. If a kidney donor needs a transplant, they go straight to the front of the line on the kidney transplant list, which seems like a very fair deal to me.
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-- What if the transplant fails? It will have been a waste!
It happens. Then you will probably feel a real sadness but no regret about your ultimate decision. All you can do is all you can do. The rest is up to the doctors, God, and your recipient's body. Blood donors don't expect accountability and ultimate success regarding the ultimate success of their donations. Kidney donors shouldn't expect it either.
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-- Have you had any residual pain or a feeling as if something is "missing?"
Nope, not even a little. In fact, if this were a science-fiction thriller where I was "missing" the memory of the 6 months following surgery, I would not have known it happened at all. Except for some small scars on my abdomen (see below).
The recovery process works in stages where there is some abdominal swelling (only you and your pants will notice) and the incision points will be tender for maybe six weeks after the surgery, but nothing permanent.
I found myself rather sleepy at night for six months following the surgery (like 9:30 p.m., rather than 11:00 p.m.). I think I was still healing internally. I think that evolved into a habit where I now go to bed earlier than I once did. I don't think this is kidney-related as much as I just became accustomed to being well-rested and getting an appropriate amount of sleep. I only mention it because I have spoken to many others who found themselves rather sleepy at night long after the pain of the surgery had gone away.
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-- Have you had to make any significant changes in your diet and/or exercise routines?
Not really. No more knife fighting for me. I used to be an amateur boxer, but I gave that up long before my surgery. Had I continued boxing through the time of my surgery, it would have been wise for me to stop since repeated blunt trauma to the one remaining kidney could evolve into a melancholy situation.
There are some drugs synthesized in the kidneys, such as ibuprofen, that you may want to avoid as to not over-task your remaining kidney. Tylenol is fine. I still take ibuprofen once in a while because it works better.
I've been a strict vegetarian for nearly 20 years. In theory, I guess it would be unwise for me to start gorging on buttsteaks, become obese, and contract Type 2 Diabetes. But that would be a dumb idea anyway... A kidney donation should not affect your diet.
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-- Will I have to give up drinking alcohol?
There are a million reasons to quit drinking, but a kidney donation is not one of them. Feel free to drink all you please. The liver takes the beating from your boozing, not the kidney.
-- How have your scars healed?
There are three scars. The two right beneath my left ribcage look like healed bullet holes which accentuates my gangsta image. The three inch scar along the elastic-line of my boxer shorts is generally hidden from the public. None of them are particularly unsightly. They are pinker than my skin, but I did absolutely nothing to treat them or care for them. Now that I live in Hawaii, they're probably getting too much sun.
This may call for some airbrushing when you appear in a 2010 swimsuit calendar, but I'm certain you won't be alone.
-- Have you seen any changes in your overall health?
None whatsoever. My blood-work continues to be far within the normal range, and I feel like a million bucks. Again, I want to stress, there is absolutely no difference in my health or my life before and after (pending recovery) the procedure.
-- What have you learned?
From a public policy perspective, I think “altruistic” donors should consider starting a kidney chain where they could save a dozen lives with their kidney, rather than just one. Here’s a great article describing how it works:
http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200907u/kidney-donation
These were less common a few years ago when I set out to give away a kidney, and I’m overjoyed to have helped my recipient, Brenda. But for people who have no recipient in mind, kidney chain donations clearly do the most good for the most people.
Monday, July 13, 2009
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11 comments:
Thank you for taking the time to post this blog. I donated my kidney last month and was getting worried about my abdomen swelling by the end of the day. You answered my concerns. Otherwise, I feel great!
I am going thru the process of donating a kidney. I have been confirmed as a match and just need to pass the examinations. I go next week for two days of testing at Mayo in Minnesota. I'm a little nervous but excited. I am donating to a friend of the family. People say "he must be a really good friend" no just a friend that needs a kidney and I have two. How can you give up a kidney? I said "I'll still have two kidneys one in me and one in Mark" ha..your info is very helpful. thanks
I enjoyed reading your blog on kidney donation. I donated my kidney to my mom 7 years ago. I would not have done anything differently and my mom is living a normal life and going strong at 63 and loving life. The surgery took place on my 35th birthday. I encourage everyone to be a donor.
I too enjoyed your blog. I am the candidate for donating to my best friend's dad, who is 65 years old. I am struggling with friends and family whose reaction has been very negative. They say he's lead a good long life and I shouldn't do it. I really want to do it, but these "friends" have me really feeling down and doubtful, which I know I shouldn't!
There are valid reasons not to give a kidney, but it doesn't sound like your friends are discussing those issues. Whatever you decide to do, make sure it's for the right reasons. Don't ever make big decisions based on false information and biases of others. Talk to the experts and follow your conscience. Good luck!
I donated a kidney on December 29, 2009 to an acquaintance and casual friend dying of a congenital kidney disease. The decision was easy for me but hard on my family and friends who thought and still think, I am putting myself at great risk.
There appears to be many misconceptions and myths about donation relative to post donation risk and life/diet adjustment. I understand that some adjustment might be necessary but from everything that I can glean nothing dramatic enough to adversely affect one's lifestyle.
Anything that can be done to dispell these fears and to present actually examples of success and/or issues, has to help both the donor and the public at large.
Your blog is most helpful and reassuring.
Sean
Hello,
Thanks for the info, Tom. I donated a kidney to my brother on 4 May 2007. It was the most wonderful feeling I have ever felt when my brother called my hospital room from his hospital room to tell me he's "peeing like a race horse!" It was music to my ears and a heavensent decision.
I am proud to be a kidney donor. I, too, have no problems whatsoever. My brother is doing very well, and I thank God always for the health of both my brother and me.
Please consider donating if you have an opportunity. You won't experience a more selfless, humbling, and joyous thing in your life. I sure haven't. God bless.
Detroit Donor
I just got a tentative date, June 8th 2010!! I am excited, and worried, only about what dress to wear to a wedding a month later!! LOL! Apparently it won't be the form fitting one I had in mind. Ah well!
I'm also plotting a tattoo..."I gave at the office" in tiny print above the incision. I can't be done laprascopially...so it'll be a bit bigger...more room to write! Karin
I am in the need of a kidney and my mother steped forward before I even got the words out of my mouth that I was in kidney failure. It has been one huge rollercoaster as soon as we get close to setting the date the dr or the insurance want one more test. Well we got a date of May 26 2010 and then the nurse called my mom to say the CT scan came back and her kidneys are two different sizes. We will be going baack to the hospital on Wed. to see if they can function on there own. Has anyone ever come across this or know what the odds are?
Consider re-printing your question on livingdonorsonline website. They get a ton of traffic and are very knowlegable about kidney issues.
I'm donating June 22nd to my husband. Thanks for the reassuring words!
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